We have enough toy stories out there, wouldn't you say? How about a drum set story? If you've read about my drumming beginnings, you'll know I was in 7th grade percussion but quit because playing the drums got "hard" and "girls don't play drums." But I eventually learned and decided that was a bunch of bull excuses and (as an adult) got back into drumming as a hobby. I signed up for private lessons my last semester of college, which fueled my passion, and I quickly improved as I practiced anywhere between 30-minutes to an hour every day. I moved from Utah to Arizona after that--- for graduate school--- and didn't have as much time for drumming as I wanted, but when I finished my Master's degree two years later, I bought myself a new, shiny drum set and took online private lessons. But I'm getting ahead of the drum set story... Before Me I researched drum models, types, and styles before purchasing my new set. I visited local music stores, searched the internet, and talked to people I knew who also drummed. I visited a lot of people selling drums on Craig's list, but eventually met a guy who was selling his five-piece Yamaha because his wife was making him.
He told me about setting it up before various gigs and breaking it down. He talked about the band members and the thrill of playing in front of an audience. At the time, I imagined myself doing similar, but--- to be honest--- the set had a quieter, simpler life with me. My time with the set I moved in with a new roommate when I bought the set, but she knew I was planning on the purchase and we negotiated a place in the small two-bedroom, one-bath house we rented together. And talked about the best times I could practice. I mostly reviewed exercises from my previous private teacher--- the one I had before moving to Arizona, but I also used YouTube to learn a couple songs I could play along with. For reasons unrelated to the drum set, my roommate and had a falling out, and I decided to move. I got engaged and was going to move in with my husband after we got married anyway, so I found a temporary place to stay until that time. Unfortunately, I couldn't take my set to my new place. There wasn't room. My fiancé, however, said I could set it up in his parents' basement until we found our own place, so I talked to my soon-to-be in-laws and made all the arrangements. After work, usually once or twice a week, I'd go to the basement and play around. I made up a few fun rhythms and shared my love for drumming with anyone who was visiting and wandered down to hear what the banging was. I got married and put the set up in our new home--- before my bed. (You can see my priorities!) It was about that time that I started this blog, so you can look back at my earlier posts to see the ups and downs of playing the drums while teaching and tutoring and writing. I feel like my drumming improved the most when I decided to take lessons again and found my way to Drum Ambition. But I also prepped for Hit Like A Girl Contest, which I participated in two or three different years. I wasn't always consistent in practicing and eventually had to drop online lessons, but having the set was always proof that I am a drummer. Just walking by--- and seeing the beautiful set made me smile. Saying goodbye Recently, my husband and I decided it was time to think about extending our family and become parents. I pushed for buying a house before doing so, not only because I knew we'd need the space as little ones always need so much... stuff... but also because I wanted a music room and space for the drum set. Well, shopping for a house was impossible! There was the pandemic and then inflation. In short, buying a house... just isn't in our budget right now. I remember sitting at the set and coming to the practical realization that I needed to sell the drum set. After a good cry, I said goodbye. Not long after that, I was finally pregnant... A new home My husband and I put the drum set up for sale two months ago. We had a few people ask about it, but they didn't seem all that serious. And then an old friend of my husband's reached out to us. He said he wasn't sure if he could afford what we were asking, but was really interested! We agreed that small payments would be fine, but when he told us that he worked as a music teacher and that he had two girls in his class, I told my husband to lower the price so he could have it. The new owner teaches kids from kindergarten to sixth grade! It's his first year teaching, and he was looking for something that would motivate them to practice, and something that would challenge his more advanced students. He came by with his wife tonight and picked up the set. As they were heading to the car, he smiled and said, "we're going to set it up tonight. It'll be a surprise for the kids in the morning!... I can't wait to share it with them, and, you know what? I think I have three girls in my class, not two." Which warmed my heart! My husband put an arm over me as they drove away. I thought I'd cry, but... I smiled instead. The drum set is going to a good home.
And another chapter in this drum set story is just beginning...
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I wouldn't say I have trouble sleeping. Not exactly. Most of the time I sleep really well at night! But sometimes my mind... talks.
It makes lists: things I've done, things I need to do, and sometimes things I don't know but am wondering about. For example, I wonder when this Covid-19 is going to get under control. I wonder about the students that are currently enrolled in online classes. I think about health care workers and their families. I think about my family. I think of my neighbors. I think about coworkers and their families. I think about the recent elections, the racial strife in our country, and the unemployment rate. I also think about the many miracles I've seen, the kind word at work and the random texts from friends. I think about how blessed I am to have a job and that I get to work from home... These thoughts tend to pile up at night, just as I'm trying to go to sleep. I toss and turn and try to tell my brain to shut up so I can sleep! Sound familiar? Well, I have a remedy. Several, actually. But I'm going to tell you about the one I've started using more now than I ever have: drumming. Yes, drumming is, once again, here to help. Here's what I do: when my brain keeps talking at night and I can't make it shut up, I start counting beats. You've maybe heard about counting sheep. No. Counting beats is much more effective! Lately, I've been reviewing sixteenth notes. Well, I count three bars of those in my head and then count out an easy fill. I keep the fills pretty simple, usually eighth notes or quarter notes. I do one bar of those (sometimes a mixture of eighth or quarter notes) and then I do another three bars of sixteenth notes. Keep it simple, though. As I feel myself getting sleepy, I'll stop doing fills and slow the time down to eighth notes or even quarter notes. And before I know it, I'm asleep! A friend of mine describes her family members as yo-yos. Because of Covid-19, her and her husband are now working from home and her kids are doing online school. As can be expected, emotions are all over the place. They're missing friends, struggling with technology, and (overall) having a variety of challenges that come from everyone being in the same house for long periods of time.
A tough week I don't know about you, but it's been a tough week this week. I've been down more than I like to admit. It's like my yo-yo won't wind up so I keep dropping to the ground every time it looks like I'm on my way up. My husband is "up" this week, (thank goodness). I've enjoyed his listening ear, tight hugs and endless kisses. They make me feel heaps better! But this evening I was... well, I was angry. Actually, I had a lot of emotions inside me, but anger was climbing the top the quickest, so instead of throwing things and yelling like I wanted, I decided to do some drumming. Drumming as therapy
Music, in general, has therapeutic qualities; we know this. But drumming is especially good for the soul. (I might be biased, but I'm also right!) After sitting on the throne, I picked up my sticks, twirled them a few times and kicked the bass. Oh, it felt good! I glanced at the calendar and realized I had only practiced twice this month! I haven't had a regular drumming schedule for a while, but still! I played one song, then another, and another. After playing for about a half hour, I decided to do some-- what my drum teacher calls-- "noodling." It's where you goof around for a bit. I did that, and before I knew it, my cheeks were wet with tears. I kept playing and crying until, when I finished, I felt as good as new! So, I guess a shoulder is a good thing to cry on, but so is a snare. After work today, my husband showed me the video below. It's Danny Carey from Tool. Maybe you recognize him? He's a pretty incredible drummer! His set is pretty sweet, too.
In short, drumming often takes a lot of coordination! It looks easy, though, doesn't it? Well, believe me it's not!
But don't worry, Simon (my drum teacher) always said anything's possible with practice. Take it limb at a time! Take it slow. Sometimes I twirl a drumstick while I'm watching TV or tap rhythms out while I'm sitting at my desk. Practice doesn't alway have to happen at the set. I haven't sat at my set for a while. It's been a struggle balancing writing goals and increased online tutoring and teaching in this new Corvid-19 world we live in. But I try not to beat myself up about it, and you shouldn't either-- whatever hobby you've set on the shelf for a while. It's times like these--- where my husband shows me an awesome drummer video--- that I remember what it takes to be a drummer. I'm definitely proud to be part of the drumming family. We're living in interesting times, wouldn't you say? But even though I'm going through major library withdrawals, I don't have much to complain about. My family is staying safe and healthy. My husband and I still have our jobs, and we have a comfortable supply of toilet paper. I don't know what your situation is. I don't know if you've lost your job, have had to be tested or have had a loved one tested for CORVID-19, if you have restless kiddos in the house, or if you're eating Raman noodles as a family for the third week in a row. I sincerely hope you are well and pray for you and yours! These are tough times, but we will get through it. With that introduction in mind, I wanted to share what I'm doing to find my new rhythm. I'm not suggesting that if you do these things you'll suddenly feel better about what's happening or that your personal struggles will go away. But maybe as you read about the habits I'm building as I stay home, you might be able to brainstorm your own and find your new rhythm.
I have one, specifically, for an hour and half between jobs. I give myself a choice: take a nap, go for a bike ride, read a book, or play drums. (All things I love!) Sometimes I go wild and do two of these! This me-time has helped me emotionally, mentally, and physically! It's a life-saver for me... literally. Eating out... locally My husband and I don't normally eat out. (Maybe once a month?) But since the stay-home initiative, we've been eating out once a week. It started because when we budgeted our finances that first week, we noticed that my income had increased-- having triple the work it better have!--- and we weren't spending money on gas or groceries. Also, we were concerned about our community and the economy in general. Each Friday, then, we eat out at an independently owned, local restaurant. We take turns researching and choosing, and picking up the food. Then we either watch a movie or play boardgames together. It's a great reward for my long week of work and makes for a great date night, but more importantly, we're doing our part. It's a small part. But we're helping these local businesses so they have a better chance at coming back when our life finally normalizes again. Buying books... from independently owned bookstores I know Amazon is "convenient" and "quick," but it is the beast in the book selling business, oftentimes gobbling up our homey locally owned bookstores. I decided (for me!) that Amazon doesn't need my help. If you buy from Amazon, no judging, I promise! But my eating out locally had inspired me. So instead of jumping onto Amazon for my book needs, I've been doing my book searches a little differently.
They're doing a cool promo right now: if you buy a $25 gift card, you'll get a second one free! So if you live in Arizona, for sure check that out. I'm not saying you should get me one of these for my birthday, but I will tell you that I have a summer birthday coming up. It's in June. (wink; wink) Doing yoga For me, this means I get to do yoga whenever I want. In fact, even when I'm working, I wear yoga pants so I'm ready to do a down-dog or butterfly in-between tutoring sessions if I wish. I've been doing morning yoga at home for about three years (probably longer!), so I have a collection of great videos. I've found the ones for neck and shoulders essential. I do exercises from those videos almost daily! I shared them with my tutoring team and other coworkers. I don't know if they're doing them, but that's okay! Trying something new... like essential oils! My experience with essential oils was tied to yoga. I knew about lavender and peppermint, but I didn't realize that essential oils was a "thing," until my best friend started selling them. Also, my husband and I were given a crazy amount of oils when a family friend died two years ago and gave us a part of her collection of oils. I was given a diffuser but hadn't really used it. But with this stay-home initiative and with the help of my best friend, I started experimenting with essential oils. They smell great, and have energizing and/or calming properties, so they've been really great to work with as I am stay-home extrovert or feeling overworked or just need something to help me relax before bed. They've also been really helpful to my writing process! Moving forward
I thought this post would be a quicky, but as I started drafting, I realized that my rhythm during COVID-19 is a lot more complex than I realized. I haven't finished sharing all of the things I do to help me cope with my new lifestyle! But these are the best ones, I think. They're the ones that are making the most difference right now... for me. Again, I hope you are well and safe wherever you are! We got this, y'all. If you speak Ukulese, you'll know that when I say I "uke" the Ukulele, I mean that I love the ukulele! So, remember when I said I was going to Girls Camp? And I was learning to djembe so I could do it around the campfire? That didn't exactly work out the way I planned. I mean, I did it, but it wasn't what I was expecting. Let me explain. For starters, we were in a no-fire zone. So there were no campfires. But that didn't stop me from a little drumming. Hubby made me a strap so I could put it over one shoulder and I sometimes played it while I walked. It came in handy for our skit night where we had a chant, and it helped us keep in time. I made-up a rhythm to go along with one of the songs we sang, and it was a success! So, yes, I did do some djembe.
Backstory: I am rubbish at the guitar! I've had at least three or more friends try to teach me to play, but I could never get my fingers to press down hard enough or reach where they need to go. It's such a bummer because I have this vision of me (again) playing songs around the campfire or just in the living room when we do Family Home Evening. That has never happened for me. The guitar just... wasn't a good fit for me. But the ukulele? The strings are softer, and there's only four of them. It's much easier to wrap my fingers around the neck. Anyway, I learned to play "You are my Sunshine," at camp and now I'm hooked. So hooked that as soon as I got back, I went straight to Bookman's and bought a ukulele.
About a month ago, my church asked me to be a camp leader for girls camp (ages 11-18). I said I would. Afterwards, I wandered my apartment thinking, what did I just agree to? That's when I walked by my hand drum. Oh, yeah!...
So, I created a goal to learn to play it, take it with me to girls camp and be the "cool" hippie camp leader that plays the drums by the campfire. There's a girl going with us that can play the ukulele, and I thought it'd be perfect to know just enough that I could accompany her. Or just play a steady rhythm while marshmallows are a roastin'. I daydreamed about that for a bit until it got me excited for girls camp. But now it's time to do this. I dusted off the drum, started tap-tap-tapping, but---needless to say, even though I play the drum set, learning to play my Bookman's drum has been a little trickier than I realized... 5 things about doing djembe: 1. Know that you're playing a djembe and not a bongo. (Similar instruments, but different techniques.) 2. Learn to spell djembe: D-J-E-M-B-E (weird!) 3. Learn to pronounce djembe ("jem-bay") 4. Learn to talk djembe ("gat-goo-gat-goo-gat-gat") 5. Practice, practice, practice! I'm at the beginnings of learning, but it's been fun so far. I've learned that my djembe has three sounds: bass tone, open tone, and slap tone, that the drum goes between your legs and should be pointed away from you, never towards, and that you're not supposed to play with any rings on (oops!). Below are a few videos suggested by Simon, my drum teacher. If you want to learn more than djembe, like the bongos, shakers, and more I suggest you check out Kalani's yoututbe channel and website. That's what I'll be doing up until camp. I'll be sure to write a follow up post about my experience playing by the campfire. Until then, happy drumming! Videos to get started: PROPER DJEMBE TECHNIQUE BUILD YOUR DRUM SKILLS TWO POPULAR DJEMBE RHYTHMS It's about twenty years too late, but at least it's here: a book for my twelve year old self. I don't know how you choose your next book to read, but I get my ideas from various places. Twitter has become a great source for adding titles to my to-be-read list. Someone I follow had asked the question: what's your favorite middle grade book you've read recently? The thread to that question was awesome! But none of the suggestions stood out to me more than I am drums by Mike Grosso.
On the second night of me reading I am drums, I had the house to myself. Hubby was in school (he's taking night classes). He came home, kissed me, and asked, "What's wrong?"
"This is the book I should have read when I was twelve," I said. "But I couldn't! You wanna to know why?" "Why?" "Because it didn't exist!" I burst into tears and babbled on about how Sam's experience mirrors my own... My friends might not have said it, but they thought it was "weird" that I play the drums. (Cuz I'm a girl, probably.) My mother didn't say it, but I could tell she didn't think playing the bass in a skirt was very ladylike. I heard beats in my sleep (and everywhere I went) and tapped my notebook, locker and desk. It was torture to play the set "in pieces," as it's described in the book. It may not have been true, but I felt like I was stuck with the triangle for all the performances. I dropped the crash cymbal once. Once! And the teacher never let me play it again. (Okay, maybe I dropped it more than once. And I was nervous during our performance! I couldn't help that they slipped out of my sweaty hands.) I never hit anybody with a mallet, like Sam, but I felt angry that I wasn't able to take private lessons, that my parents hid their sigh of relief when I said I'd take choir instead. "It's cheaper," my sister had explained. (You can read my more detailed story here.) "I can't give this book to my twelve year old self," I told Hubby. "I can't--- I can't!" And cried some more as he held me. After a moment, I calmed down, sat up, and said, "I can't go back and tell my twelve year old self not to quit." "No," Hubby said, his arm still around me. "But I'm a drummer now." Hubby smiled. "Yes you are!" "And once grading is finished, I can start putting stars on my calendar again. I can practice." "Yes!" "I'll be able to justify lessons again." "Yes." "And I have that." I pointed to the drum set in the other room as tears ran down my cheeks. "Yes you do!" "It's mine! It's mine, mine, mine. It's real. And I'm a real drummer." I wish I could tell you I'm exaggerating this conversation, but, unfortunately, I am that dramatic. The point of this post is not to make Mike Grosso feel bad. It's not his fault that this story (or a story like it) hadn't been told when I was going through my middle grade crisis over the drums. Even if I had played through junior high and high school, I don't know if I would have made a career out of it. Yes, I sometimes think about the drummer I would be right now if I hadn't quit at age twelve. Not that I'd be the first blue-man-girl (which my sister says is impossible because it's the blue man group) or even win a Hit Like A Girl Contest, but here's the thing--- We have the book now. The story is out there! Imagine the girl drummers--- and all young musicians--- who can read it now! Think of the impact! My two concluding thoughts are: 1) I'm included in that. I'm a young musician. Even if I were 84-year-old Wanda, I'd still be young at heart and be able to play the drums now! 2) There are important stories to tell. You may think that your struggles are unique or "weird," but they're not. Tell them. Be brave. I'll be honest. I haven't practiced very much this summer. Family vacations, a teaching gig I wasn't planning on, CampNano and creative writing classes, and family emergencies have left my calendar with about two or three stars a month. (Yes, I put stars on my calendar when I practice. Don't be judging.) But with a new semester starting, I had the opportunity to move some things around and re-commit to a drumming routine, perhaps 15-30 minutes, Monday-Friday before dinner like I used to. I'm not taking lessons right now; I haven't practiced enough during the summer to justify paying for them, so I decided to learn a couple songs on my own. I asked drumscores.com to help out, and they sent me the drum scores for a couple songs I've wanted to learn for a while. It's been really fun, but only one week into this new routine, I found that as I hit the high-hat, my fingers and wrist started tingling. When I hit the crash, my whole arm vibrated, from my fingers down to my elbow. Ow!
While he wrapped, I said, "This stinks! I just got back into a good drumming rhythm (pun totally intended!) and this is what happens. I was looking forward to having all stars on my calendar this month." (Hubby takes me about to eat when I get all stars in a month, and I can justify taking online lessons!) I asked, "What am I doing wrong? Simon says drumming should never be painful, so what am I doing wrong?" "You type at weird angles," Hubby said. I thought about that. Yeah, I do. Sometimes I get lazy, especially when I'm typing on the couch, and my wrist(s) shift in strange ways. This is especially true on my iPad.
My wrist feels like I rolled it. (Is that possible?) So I'm babying it a bit and waiting for it to heal itself. I hope it heals quickly so I can get back to drum rolling. In the meantime, this has been a good time to review the drumming basics, like posture, grip and technique.
This post was featured as an inaugural episode for the uprising ESL podcast, Layer Cake.
I've been blessed to live near good neighbors. This has been particularly important after I bought my first drum set. After all, drumming isn't exactly the quietest of hobbies. But I've always lived with tolerate (often encouraging) roommates and neighbors. My philosophy has always been: be a good neighbor to have good neighbors. And it's worked so far. From the very beginning I'm open about my drumming. I tell my landlords, roommates, and neighbors--- usually with a plate of cookies and a promise to never play after 8:00pm and/or have my phone near me so I can receive a text to tell me if it isn't a good time to play. (I've never gotten such a text, by the way.) Right now, Hubby and I have particularly good neighbors, which is especially fortunate because we live in a close-knit one level apartment complex with two walls connected to neighbors. Two other neighbors live quite close to us as well. The one opposite of us has a little girl and one on the way. Her attitude has always been, "if you don't might the occasional crying and screaming, I can do with the occasional drumming." Next to her is an older gentleman, and when we first moved in and I told him I had a drum set, he said he was practically deaf (or going deaf) so he didn't think he'd hear the drumming over his loud TV, which he hasn't. ha ha! The neighbor just next to us is named Terry, and she talked for ages with me when I met her, and she said drumming wouldn't ever be a problem for her either. It was the neighbor on the wall closest to the drum set that I worried most about when we first moved in--- not only because she'd be affected the most by the drumming, but because I could never catch her home to introduce myself. I eventually just dropped off cookies with a note explaining that she'd sometimes hear me drumming, but never too late in the evenings. We've lived here for almost three years now. It wasn't until two or three months ago, though, that I finally met the neighbor closest to the drum set. She asked me in the parking lot if I was the drummer. I said I was. She said her name was Natalie and she had a nephew that played the drums. We talked for a while, but she, essentially, said I sounded good and to keep it up! I was so excited, I ran home and told Hubby, "I met Natalie!" "Natalie Portman?" he asked. "No, our neighbor. She said she could hear me playing my drums and I sound good." "Natalie Portman is our neighbor?" he teased. Anyway, I saw Natalie again today. (Not Portman.) She told me she hasn't heard me drumming much lately. I told her I've been sick, but I'm feeling better now. Her encouragement today got me behind the set again after a long battle of being sick, lazy and just having the post-holiday blues. I think having good neighbors is important to a drummer. I always just hoped to have neighbors that didn't complain about the noise, but I think having neighbors like Natalie and the others has been encouraging. Natalie's not the first to ask about my drumming when I haven't played in a while. My other neighbors will comment sometimes, and they're always very sincere and encouraging. I hope you, also, have good neighbors. Or live next to Natalie Portman. |
I'm what you'd call a "hobbyist" drummer.
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